Roleplay gets a bad name in BDSM. Some brand it as inauthentic, as though playing a character isn’t truly honest. As though there’s no art in the artifice, nothing exposed in the exploration.
I disagree whole-heartedly. Roleplay at its centre is about permission. It can be an incredible tool, because, with the right guide, it can free many desires or parts of yourself to play. Often kink and BDSM contains a running thread of curiosity and taboo, of reaching towards the unseen edges yourself. Roleplay can be a marvellous quick release portal to those far flung edges.
Whilst devising and indeed playing out your dynamic with a Dominatrix, you grant creative freedom to channel new parts of yourself within the fantasy; the whiny school boy, cocky prisoner, willing sacrifice. Perhaps for you it’s the dutiful servant, proud pampered pony, or sensual toy. With roleplay, you can permit the psyche to play without having to know what might happen, marvelling as it unfolds.
Shedding your identity for a while shakes up habitual patterns of behaviour. Therefore allowing you to release limiting stories by creating a new one. You might discover new experiences that turn you on whilst parading as someone who wants those things. It can gift you the freedom to try things out, try things on. Curiously, it might well be through a roleplay that you discover a new feeling, perhaps a new fetish.
A whole new dimension to your kink can be uncovered by shaking it up and slipping into someone else…
A crucial ingredient in exploring roleplay is playing with a skilled professional Domme who can hold the role with total commitment, joy, and creativity. Should you feel a scene isn’t working for you, being with someone skilled enough to notice, change it up or lead you to a new perspective is vital. Regardless of whether the role is ‘classic’ or unusual, each will find their own flavour and their unique interpretation with a strong guiding hand.
Undoubtedly there is vast power in roleplay, whether you play the classic archetype of miscreant schoolboy or whether you wish to explore the woes of a pitiful king held hostage by his wicked wayward Queen. I adore devising a roleplay scene and subsequently playing it out, meanwhile observing which dynamics come alive between us. It’s a hedonistic cocktail of play, creativity and power dynamic. Indeed, wanting to don a new name for a while is no inherent marker of falsity.
Sometimes people are actually more honest when they stop trying so hard to ‘be themselves’.
In my vast experience exploring kink and BDSM I’ve played out some glorious scenes: from the timeless strict Headmistress to a brutal yet tender Amazonian Queen. In some instances I’ve played characters pulled directly from the past, other times our cast has been entirely mythical creations. Undeniably each experience has gifted me deep insight on what I love to do and how I want to do it. Over the years it has continually sparked realisations that there are parts of me I want to embody more. Repeatedly it has revealed to me new ways of feeling and being, and brought life back into stagnant interests.
At the heart of my kink and BDSM practice is a sense of play and curiosity. Play with your normality, your expectations, play with your sense of self, with what you think makes you feel good, what makes you feel alive. Roleplay can be a wickedly fun direct line to that.
Besides, doesn’t it sound fun to slip into someone else?
